The Start of the End of my Teenage Life

i feel so overwhelmed by the love that everyone is showing me. God has really brought me to this day where i am 19. a entire life where i grew up not knowing Him, not knowing all the people i know now.

my heart is so full i can't express how i feel about everything that happens. Truly i am contented with my life and im just so blessed and loved by those around me. Thank you EVERYONE for your lovely wishes. be it via calls, smses, msn, friendster, facebook, my tagboard, your posts on your blogs. Thank you all for remembering this day which He made 19 years ago.

thank you my loves for the surpise. they were so happy that i was upset that they werent gonna be in school to spend my birthday with me. how sadistic. haha but no, they were out preparing for my suprise and i really was very very suprised. this is the first time ever where people's surpises actually worked. haha. thank you Jules, Jan, Kimmy, Avi and Kai. you have no idea how shocked i was. i love the E R I K A cupcakes, the balloons, the flowers, the video, the tiny card jan made to pretend that that was it, the pencil marked "driving lesson", the comforting talk frm kimmy, the everything. i love you all. poly will never be the same without you all. i am in tears right now because im remembering of the love that you guys have shown me. yes Erika the Emotional. haha i love you babes & boys.

thank you honey for all that you've done for me. not only today but everyday. the cake, pressies, dinner, card, pickups. once again you've shown me the love of God on this very earth. your effort hasnt gone to waste at all.Heart jo0.

i am so happy. thank you God for my life that you sacrificed for.
i give you all of me in exchange for all of you cause what matters most is You.

3 celebrations are over and ive yet to put up any pictures. will do so when ive received them all.
thank you all really.. i am just so grateful :)

sorry about the emo post guys. i have feelings also ok!!!! but everything is kinda better now. well cause of got His comfort.

wahh what a long long weekend it has been. 4 days without schoool has be awesome! haha. baby is back and with like so many accesories for me haha. :) so nice ah. thailand sounds like a really awesome place to go. yes i am a singaporean and i havent been to thailand. quite sad urh. MABB IRVINNN WHEN? KEITHH XINGNIII WHEN?? sigh!

the outreach that i organised yesterday was pretty good apart from getting bitten! rawr. relaxing, cyling, eating. seeing all my members come together. i love S25. howww? gonna multiply. :( well below are some pictures:

Hi.

there are so many things on my mind. like how i long for a greater capacity to serve you. how long for more of your presence. how i want to give my entire youth, days, life to you.

but sometimes just sometimes.. although i know you'll make everything okay and that everything will work out. sometimes just sometimes i wished i didnt hav to go some stuff that i am.

they say Three is a Crowd but i dont understand why it has to be. okay fine its Miley & Mandy, Selena & Demi, MaryKate & Ashley. but man i dont understand why it has to be that way. is it just a psychological thing? or shall we blame on " we're all just human" but why cant we all just try. i love you both i really do. i never expected you both to love me as much as you loved each other, i swear i never did. after that incident i was bent on the fact that i'd never be part of the little thing that you guys shared. but i was okay, like really.

Anyway, i had my own bestest, i had miguel, i had Mab, i always have Suwen no matter how far away we are from each other. but just when i was getting along with the both of you that little ray of sunshine came back and i was like yeah, we can totally work this out. we can totally make it work. not just the two or the three but four. but guess what Erika, you were wrong. it takes 4 pairs of hands to clap in this case and not everyone wants to clap yours.

i swear i never wanted to doubt your friendship cause you really do mean a lot to me and you always will. it cuts me that things are no longer ever the same from the first 2 months we met but no matter how much you bi*ched about me, how much you could easily replace me, babe you still have that special place in my heart. thats why "you will always be my baby" -girl. ily.

and through all the trials and tribulations i go through, i know its all gonna be worth it. i believe in your faithfulness. i do. i'll come out stronger. Supergirl Erika will seek you first.

goodnight.

Stuck: You're Not Alone - Saosin
" her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy"

I MISS YOU
seeyou soon.
xoxo Erika :)

Stuck: Unfold - Marie Digby
"i dont wanna go on living being so afraid of showing someone else my imperfections"

pictures for Julie;

Stuck: Take a Bow - Rihanna
" you better hurry up, before the sprinklers come on"

my right hearts

before we bid thy braces goodbye :)

AHHAHAHAHA (babe we're so entertaining!)

kimmy's face is classic!
love you all. yes i love you Mun.
bye!

Stuck: Flashing Lights - Kanye West Ft Dwele
" you're still at the glass of my memories museum"

Jules ALWAYS makes me feel better. HAHA no more "the sun is in my eyes, solli video"

yes starbucks again. and irvin jus had to remind me that im fat. THANKS IRV. MAB UR BF IS SO MEAN CAN :( hahahaha kidding dont think that irv is that mean ok but yes good friends tell the truth! hee. anyway i finished my green tea frap in 10mins and got scolded by Jules. blergh. ill drink howver fast i want ok Jules! hahaha and i need a haircut badly again. :( short hair is so hard to maintain. i see tingting agreeing in my head. kay, msn is being a pain.

no school tomorrow=sleep!

i miss people. bleh. maybe that eskimo!

Stuck: Because of You - Neyo
" just stuck between my fantasy and what is real"

helllloo. im sorry for not putting up a "proper post" but due to the lack of pictures and inspiration, i have lost all motivation to blog. dont worry it'll come back to me soon? haha. so yes, the weekend was basically filled with moving boxes, furniture and what have you to the new place. my new cupboard is the shizzz and so is my new king size bed. *jumps around* haha an attached bathroom is also a third thumb up :)

but guess whattttttttttt SCHOOOL is starting tomorrow (!!!!!!!!!!!) and i am so looking forward to it. not. apart from the fact that it will no longer be the same without double J's, my brain has been dead due to the 2 months lack of not using it. contract law, family law, accounting, japanese. some of the mods i'll be taking this semester. and it all starts tomorrow. big booo. sulk x 9347284728 okay fine, i shall TRY to embrace school.

so im not exactly going through the best period of my life but yeah, i'll be alright. to think im even willing to give it all up just for that simplicity. i miss having my life on a straight track and knowing whats up next for my future. now i just dont know. i need to find my call once more.

okay emo moment over. bye

P.S: perth photos still delayed :(

below is just some pictures taken at Mama's funeral when we dedicated her a song.

annoyed.

1. myspace is suddenly in spanish? foreign much. anyone else having this problem?
2. memory card reader wont read my stick
3. puts stick back into camera and now camera says that card is locked
4. split classes from Jan & Jules :(
5. ARGH in class (Reminder: God says love everyone, Jules says be nice)
6. school on monday (!!!!!!!!!!!)
7. moving house tmrw. rooms in a mess (not the kind of mess i like it to be)
8. no CCH, no CG, no SVC tmrw :(
9. no internet for the weekend at new house
10. over-ate at dinner
11. i miss perth weather
12. i miss perth people
13. you not online

Save me? No not you Chocolate.

Stuck: With Me - Sum41

I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I made my mistakes.I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what I did and so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go. Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

sounds straight out of a OC soundtrack to Erika's life.
xoxo.

today i spent the day with daddy. although he told me he'd be just doing errands i decided to follow him from restaurant to restaurant, to the new thai not fully built one as well as to the sushi making place. haha we ended up at the shop in the city so we did a tiny bit of shopping and i am a very blessed girl :)

ive got "Low" in my head cause when it was on radio, daddy blasted the sound, wound down the windows and danced while he drove. it was ultimate man. and of course imagine the cars that were next to us at the red light? rawr. its been great spending time with dad. although hes always working and stuff but its just good to come home to a house which hes in.

& spending lotsa time with my applexians. ah how wonderful. how i missed thy company. idiotic suwen and her alchoness, smartie wenny with the heart of gold, sandra the ball of neverendingness, joan of ark! karmie, jen, fikachu, linnyae and not forgetting all the guys; jason, steven, kenneth, chih, tony, the, terry, zizee.. man, im so not lookin foward to parting with you guys again. im just very thankful that although you guys are now in uni that you can stil make an effort to get together to keep your friendships strong and to make time for me :) even if that might seem like a little thing to do its a big thing to me and im SOOOOOOO HAPPY to be part of this circle of friends.

sings: "this circle never enddddss" haha wrong concept but ya get my drift.

stpd suwen. 151.

P.S. photos will be up when back in SG.

hellooo! (:



so yes im in the sunny land of Perth, Australia. 3rd day here already. met up with all my applexians and James. so what have i done? well aprt from catching up with everyone ive eaten, shopped and thats about it. the nights here are so quiet that the silence is deafening. i need to play music in order to kill that eeee sound. ya kno? haha. the house is so empty without the girls and mommy. just me and daddy. helpd him out at the restaurant on the first day i got there. business not bad at all. God is good.



actually my family has been going through some financial crisis over the past years but God is good. for about a year now everytime i give my offering/tithe/bf i would write on my envelope "God please make my family debt free" well its not exactly to that level yet but i know God is really doing a work in my family.



im missing miguel already as wel as my mommy,sisters, cg, cch etcetc and it has onlybeen 3 days gosh. haha no la, Perth is not as bad as how James makes it out to be. its just that when you've come from such a busy life in Singapore, especially if your from church where everything is back to back, you would think that the lifestyle here is so boring. apart from the weather and my dad/friends. theres really not much else to love. but nevertheless you could always make your circumstances different right? haha.



the first day i was here i went suprising everyone at their doors cause they didnt know that i was arriving that day. i so shouldve taken pictures but i only thought of that when everything was over. haha. took James to my daddys restaurant at the wrong time cause they were already closing. Harbourtown! oh hwww i loveee that place. Su and I spent like an entire day there which killed her legs :P.



ah well why am i typing so much? cause im waiting for Jason to pick me up to go sneak into Applex again. haha. yea all my friends drive and have a car. sigh. another thing to love. at one point we had like 8 cars following one another. aiya. cars in aussie very cheapcheap and if u dont have one a bit hard to get around.



kay keep in touch ya'll. heart <3



im still missing mama. Jesus take care of her in the better place.

hey guys, so yes for those of you who dont know, im still in singapore and not yet in perth. reason being is that my grandmother had passed away on the morning when i was already at the airport preparing to go pass the gates. it was really drama la trying to get my bags outta the plane, the big hooha with tears and all at the airport, rushing down to the hospital.

By the time i got there, they told me that she had gone on the way in the ambulance. The ahyees and I, the only grandchild there at the time went into the mortuary to see her. many emotions went through my mind and all i wanted to do was to see her look at me but there she was, gone. at that point of time it really felt so horrible but after crying my part i had to stay strong for my mom. Dad wasnt around so i just had to. we then said a prayer there and there He was. His tangible presence. :)

i really thank God that i did not get on the flight cause id probably have to fly back straight away. and that i could be there hugging my mom when she was at the lowest. mom was back in singapore since Sunday and all my aunts were in the country. im so thankful that truly God's timing is so perfect. that all her children had a last chance to spend her days with.

today during the service, her pastor that visits her every Tuesday shared with us his time with her. The day before it happend, he did his usual visit with her and he told us that she loved all of us. she told him about all her children and her grandchildren. even about the ones overseas. i knew she loved me a lot. i'd never forget that last moment i spend with her on Sunday night. when i said goodbye to her she handed me $100 and told me to spend it when im in australia as well as to take care of Dad and myself. at that point in time i felt that she really cared, so i gave her a tight squeeze and a kiss on her cheek. i dont know why i did that bcause normally i wouldnt have. i am gonna cherish that last beautiful moment with her.

i really miss her. thats inevitable but i know that shes safe in the arms of Jesus. that she is in paradise with no more dialysis, no more pain no more suffering. :)

i also wanna thank all those who smsed me to encourage me and especially to those who came down so far. Mabeline the greatest friend, Samantha my adviser, Glenn the crazy, Wenkai the power, Adrian the funnyman, Audrey the talent, Regina my teacher, Eunice the young one, Linguel the real deal, Gabriel the servant, Daryl the leader, Zhengwei the neighbour, Schumann the bored part1/2, Torrance the "seek Him first", Willy the humble one, Huimin the patient one and Xingni the sweetest one. Thank you Pastor Eileen for the wreath. Thank you Miguel for being there with me and helping out around the house. Thank you ALL for really showing the love of Jesus through your care and concern for me.

I love you all and i love you Mama.
goodnight (:

For those who have given me specifics so i can remember :)

1. Miguel - Saw 4, Clod Hoppers
2. Jiejie and Brandon - gift from James
3. Mama - starburst lollies
4. Amanda - Nougat
5. Mun - rockstar jacket
6. Nigel - Rocky Road
7. S25 - Rocky Road, apple strudle
8. Adam - Accesories for stage
9. Ah yee Jenny - Leather belt
10. Naomi's friends - slippers
11. Jules - Portman's top, fine necklace & Donut King
12. Jordon - Willy wonka caramel choc

kay i cannot remember anymore. do let me know if you guys need anything from down under haha :)

xoxo. see you all sooon!!

THE ONLY ONEY

akirerika
greenmachine
CHEC
TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC
23o589`
s25
anything thats gotta do with vocals, im there.
choir ministry,childrens church BV,chec vocal dynamics,private lessons.
yes music & singing rocks my boat
law is interesting. no not the history but all the case readings and statues. the power of it is unbelievable!
but God's love is infinite times more amazing! :)

DESIRESY

never enough clothes
flawless skin
scratch free mobile
fat free caramel hot choc from starbucks
permanant hair removal in many places
straight, white, perfect teeth
fluent chinese
fluent malay
dance lessons
piano lessons
toned fat free body
pinky health!
perfect pitch!
perfect vocal tone!

super 5 united permanantly
household salvation
backup vocalist
mission trips
determination
patience
endurance
Hun by my side
Jesus in all the days of my life!

CHATTERY

EXITSY

hugs & ADAM ALAN CHAN ALAN I ALAN ALISON ANGEL ANGIE ARIES AUGUSTSTAR BRIAN COLIN DARYL ONG DERRICK/a EDMUND ELIZABETH ESTHER CHENG ESTHER EUQUIN EVELYN GLENN GRACE HENGYANG HOLLY HUSAINI INHIDINGS JAMES JANNAH JASLINE JESSEL JIAWEN JIEYIN JOEY JOHANNA JON JOYCE STELLA JULES JUNE ONG JUNE KAI KATE KEITH KENNETH KENNY KENNY QUAH LEON LITTLE SHAWN LIZZ MAAN GIRLS MAXIE MELISSA MIKKI MIKKO MUNIRAH NAOMI NASRUL NEEK PEGGIE PRISCA RACHEL RISHA RUBEZ S25 S25 PICTURES SAMANTHA SAMUEL SHANSHAN SHAUN SHEILE SHIJIE SHING SHUYI SIEWLENG SUWEN TABITHA TASH TINGTING TORRANCE VALERIE KUM VALERIE VANESSA WILLY XINYAN YANI ZARAH ZHENGWEI

Kisses HUN